Sometimes

Dear Reader, 

First of all thank you so much all those of you who wrote voting that my blog continues.  I am very glad and will do my best to make the page interesting, funny sometimes, and hope that my poem touches the heart.

This week I have been reading more books about the first World War. Vera Brittain's very powerful autobiography, 'Testament of Youth'.  This war is my special interest, perhaps because my father served in it.  He was mentioned in dispatches three times for bravery and when he came home was never very well.  He had been gassed.  What Vera is saying in this long book is that her generation of young people, say between 18 years old and 25, lost their youthful exciting years because of the war.  Instead of finishing her degree at Oxford university she became a nurse and performed her horrible duties with a heavy heart.  Her fiance was killed at the front and she never really got over it.  Hers was a 'bankrupt, shattered generation' and she hoped the successive generations would learn from the war's futility and  horror.

I wonder if they have?

                                                                                      *

From Gilbert White, 1776, January 14th in Hampshire

'Rugged, Siberian weather,  The narrow lanes are full of snow in some places .....The road-waggons are obliged to stop, and the stage-coaches are much embarassed.  I was obliged to be  much abroad on this day, and scarce ever saw its fellow.'

From James Woodeforde, 1790, January 14th in Norfolk

'The season so remarkably mild and warm that my brother gathered this morning in my garden some full blown primroses.'

                                                                                     *

Sometimes

I feel overwhelmed by
a spirit of joyfulness,
a desire to jump, to dance,
to laugh, to see the world
in a bright light,

sometimes I am optimistic
enjoy the warmth of the sun,
soft patter of rain on my face,
the wonders of this world.

Sometimes I believe
people are kind and good,
are innocent of evil,
deserve praise and
I honour them

and sometimes I don't.

                                                                                  *

With very best wishes, Patricia

The Mind cupboard

 Dear Reader,

My daughter Jessica thought I might like to have a Poetry Page on Facebook in order to meet other poets.  This I made last week and then joined a poetry group.  I have already been in touch with one or two poets and found this to be an enjoyable situation.  Years ago in Oxford I went to a Creative Writing Course for Poets and met lots of like minded people which was lovely, and stayed friends with many of then after the course ended.  Sadly the the meetings had to stop for various reasons and since then I have only one poet friend, in fact my tutor, Sue Johnson.  She is very busy and also lives a long way away from me so I am poet friend bereft. 

I have been writing this blog for seven years now and wonder if any of you readers do in fact read my poem of the week.  Or do you enjoy the blog for other reasons?  I do want to know so please take the time to write to me.   patricia.huthellis@googlemail.com        and say whether you want me to continue or not. If I get five people wanting me to continue, I will.  If not, I won't.  It is up to you.  Over 71,000 people have kindly looked at the blog over these years and I will be sad not to write it anymore. I look forward to Sundays when, after breakfast, I retire into my study and write.  It has been a rewarding journey so far, and long may it continue if you wish it to be so.

                                                                                   *

                                                         If man does not keep pace
                                                                with his companions,
                                                        perhaps it is because he hears
                                                                   a different drummer.
                                                          Let him step to the music
                                                                          he hears
                                                          however measured or far away.

                                                                                           Thoreau

                                                                                     *

The Mind Cupboard

My mind cupboard overflows
with unwanted debris.
It needs a spring clean.

I will brush away the cobwebs
of cheerless thoughts.
Scrub out the stains of childhood.

I will replace the brass hooks
corroded with salt tears,
empty all the screams
hoarded through the years.

I will replace the accumulated ashes
from the worn shelf-paper,
with virgin tissue.

I will chase and catch the wasps,
relieve them of their stings.
I will refill this cupboard
with love, and learnt, brighter things.

                                                                                     *

With very best wishes, and don't forget to let me know,

Patricia

January Weather

                                                                                 Skiddaw mountain

 

Dear reader,

I do hope you all enjoyed a lovely and peaceful Christmas and a very happy New Year to you too.  We had a very quiet time with daughter Jessica, and granddaughter Mary who cooked the lunch, a nut roast and lots of vegetables, delicious. We also had Christmas pudding and brandy butter.  The crackers were a bit of a disappointment, from Marks and Spencer, with no toys or games. However, we had paper hats so felt festive nevertheless. 

Now it is on to 2023 and I am optimistically thinking it will be a good year.  As every day I am alive and maybe there won't be all that many left, I am determined to make each day important and special.  Not with something big but just a small goal to be thought of and then done.  Perhaps writing a new poem  or turning out a draw, or getting in touch with  friend who is not well and cheering them up.  And every day I must do my exercises.  I know this sounds very boring but I do know that when I do do them I walk better and can get up from the floor with some ease. 2023 bring it on!

                                                                                       *

Chimp news.  For those of you who have forgotten what the Chimp is, let me just remind you. He is your other self and lives in your head.  He is a very nice chap but difficult sometimes.   His main goal is to look after you and see you come to no harm.   But he can be over zealous.  While the adult human  interprets things in a calm and logical manner the Chimp interprets things in an emotional manner.  Still he was relatively quiet over the break and I didn't have to admonish him more than once.  The Chimp can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  This is the Chimp paradox.  The book about the Chimp Paradox is by Professor Steve Peters.  I have found it very helpful in dealing with anxiety.  My Chimp is my friend but I have to question his wisdom sometimes.

                                                                                      *

From Samuel Pepys, 1667, January 1st, in London

'Lay long, being a bitter, cold, frosty day, the frost being now grown old, and the Thames covered with ice.'

From Gilbert White, 1768, January 1st, in Hampshire

'It freezes under people's beds.'

                                                                                       *

January Weather

We know from recorded history
that in St. Merryn
a hundred years ago,
there blew great winds
and the sea was smoking white.

We know it was warm in Kent,
where the thrushes thought spring
had come, and piped away.
And primroses were a yellow carpet
in North Norfolk,
or so the parson wrote.

We know of cutting winds in Hampshire,
of icicles and frost and
in Skiddaw on a mild day
a brown spotted butterfly was seen.
We know that hungry church
mice ate bible markers,
hungry people died of cold.

And we know that this dark winter month
had days of snow, that wild clouds
gathered in the sky unleashing icy rain,
churning up the plough.

And yet, we also know
the sun shone in that distant year,
it was warm enough to push through
early snowdrops, and Holy Thorn.
Light was glimpsed, here and there,
all life struggled for its moments.

                                                                              *

With very best wishes, Patricia

The Oxen by Thomas Hardy 1840-1928

 Dear Reader,

Apparently robins that live in the countryside become more aggressive when exposed to traffic noise, scientists have found. The red breasted birds are synonymous with Christmas and are fiercely territorial creatures that rely on signals, both visual and acoustic, to mark their territory and repel outsiders.   It has been found that the birds change their behaviour when threatened and that traffic noise was the trigger.

Researchers believe that while urban robins are used to louder habitats and have adapted to tune them out, their countryside dwelling cousins instead respond to raucous sounds - including traffic - by becoming more aggressive.  Dr. Caglar Akcay, of Anglia Ruskin University said: "We know that human activity can have a significant impact on the long-term social behaviour of wildlife, and our results show that human-produced noise can have a range of effects."

                                                                            *

I think I will write a little something every week from now on about my Chimp.  Do you remember when I wrote about the Downing Street cat and when I wrote something about the seagulls riotous behaviour?

Well this week I had a stomach ache and my Chimp told me it was probably stomach cancer.  It went after a day and was probably some prawns I ate.  So once again my Chimp was being over zealous and with the help of Prof.Steve Peter's book : The Chimp Paradox I was able to talk to Chimp as an adult and dispense with my fears. Question the chimp at every turn, especially if it is an emotional dilemma.

                                                                            *

From William Wordsworth, 1799, December 24th in Westmorland

'Rydale is covered with ice, clear as polished steel, I have procured a pair of skates and to0morrow mean to give my body to the wind.'

From James Woodforde, 1790, December 25th in Norfolk

'I lighted my large wax-candle being Xmas Day, during teatime this afternoon for about an hour.  It was very mild, thank God, to-day for this time of year, tho' wet and very dirty walking.'

                                                                               *

I am putting on my favourite Christmas poem.  It is by Thomas Hardy. 1840-1928

The Oxen

Christmas Eve, and twelve of the clock,
"Now they are all still on their knees,"
An elder said as we sat in a flock
By the embers in hearth-side ease.

We pictured the meek mild creatures where
They dwelt in their strawy pen.
Nor did it occur to one of us there
To doubt they were kneeling then.

So fair few would weave
In these years! Yet, I feel
If someone said on Christmas Eve,
"Come, see the oxen kneel,

"In the lonely barton by yonder coomb
our childhood used to know,"
I should go with him in the gloom,
Hoping it might be so.

                                                                          *

Thank you all for being with me on this small blog,
it is very cheering to know that you are out there.

Have a very happy Christmas and very best wishes,
Patricia

Another Chimp message

 Dear reader,

A big thank you to all American readers, I had a big readership from you last week.  You obviously liked my blog which talked about the Chimp.  The Chimp who lives in your head and causes you anxiety.  He means to be helpful, protect you and guard you from harm but sometimes he just overdoes it.  This is a piece of advice from Prof. Steve Peters book :The Chimp Paradox.   He says that in order to work with the Chimp you need to nurture him and manage him. Nurture first and then manage.  "If you have a Chimp that is well looked after by being nurtured and having all its needs met, then it is very likely that this happy little animal will not cause any trouble.If you don't look after your Chimp then it is very likely that it will kick off at any time and cause you a lot of pain."  I think this means, at least it does for me, that you have to question his wisdom.   Sometimes the Chimp in me suggests, for instance, that I should not go out in the snow because I might fall.  Well I might but the fresh air and the exercise tempt me outside so I don't follow the advice and I am fine, and refreshed.  So talk to your Chimp, make him your friend.   He is on your side just a bit bossy.

                                                                           *

From Francis Kilvert, December 8th, 1872, in Wiltshire

 

'....at about half past four began the Great Storm of 1872.  Suddenly the wind rose up and began to roar at the Tower window and shake the panes and lash the glass the torrents of rain.  It grew very dark and we struggled home in torrents of rain and tempests of wind so fearful that could hardly force our way across the Common to the rectory.  All the evening the roaring S.W. wind raged more and more furious.  It seemed as if the windows on the west side of the house must be blown in.   The glass cracked and strained and bent....I went out to see where the cows were, fearing that the large elms in the Avenue might fall and crush them.  The trees were writing , swaying , rocking, lashing their arms wildly and straining terribly in the tempest but I couldn't see that any were gone yet...... Everything was drowned in the roar and thunder of the storm.  The wind howled down the chimney, the room was full of smoke and every now and then the fire flaught out into the room in tongues of flame beaten down with a smother of sparks and smoke.'

                                                                               *

Chimp, give me a break

This Chimp lives in my head,
he is my protector
my guardian.
He works hard, too hard
he sees danger everywhere
alerts me to it
every day.
Obviously he loves me
doesn't want any harm to befall me,
but I am losing patience
with him, he overdoes it.

Surely I can drive without
serious problems arising.
Surely I can shop without
a gunman pinning me down.
Surely I can have a drink
without cirrhosis of the liver.
Surely that noise was a car backfiring,
not a shot.

Advice ad infinitum,
and my Chimp can't let up.
I want a peaceful life,
Chimp, give me a break please.

                                                                                *

If you like reading my blog why don't you treat yourself to my memoir : "Half a Pair of People" which can be obtained on Amazon.  In the reviews people have written that it is hilarious and thought provoking.  I t would make a good Christmas present for an aunt or someone who enjoys true life stories.

                                                                                  *

With very best wishes, Patricia

Chimp, give me a break

Dear Reader,

 A little time ago I read a very interesting book called "The Chimp Paradox" by Professor Steve Peters. My daughter Jessica gave it to me knowing that I am always very anxious and thought I might enjoy it.  I did and I do.  It introduced to me the idea that in my head lives a chimp.  This chimp looks after me sees that I come to no harm and alerts me me to danger.  He sees danger everywhere. Whilst he had been very helpful in the past, I now want, and live, a pretty peaceful life and wish he would calm down a bit. But he likes to be active and I think stops me from doing very ordinary things which, if I challenged myself, I could do. I managed to drive somewhere this week which I would have thought, on advice from the chimp, was impossible. But I did it and was proud of myself.  I haven't driven much since lockdown and have lost confidence driving in a town. I love the chimp and don't want him to leave me, just to let me be a little more peaceful.

                                                                                   *

From Dorothy Wordsworth, November 24th, 1801, in Westmorland

'I read a little Chaucer, prepared the goose for dinner, and then we all walked out.  I was obliged to return for my fur tippet and spencer, it was so cold .....  It was very windy, and we heard the wind everywhere about us as we went along the lane, but the walls sheltered us....As we were going along we were stopped at once,  the distance perhaps of 50 yards from our favourite birch tree.  It was yielding to the gusty wind with all its tender twigs, the sun shone upon it, and it glanced in the wind like a flying sunshiny shower.......We came home over the stepping stones.  The Lake Grasmere was foamy with white waves.'

 

From John Ruskin, November 24th, 1857, in Denmark Hill, Surrey

'Very wet. But quiet, and the birds singing all sorts of delicate airs, richly, as it it were spring.' 

 

                                                                               *

Chimp, give me a break

 

This Chimp lives in my head,
he is my protector,
my guardian.
He works hard, too hard,
he sees danger everywhere,
alerts me to it every day.
Obviously he loves me,
doesn't want any harm to befall me,
but I am losing patience
with him, he overdoes it.

Surely I can drive without
serious problems arising?
Surely I can shop without
a gunman pinning me down?
Surely I can have a drink
without cirrhosis of the liver?
Surely that noise was a car backfiring,
not a gun shot?

Advice ad infinitum,
Chimp, please, give me a break.

                                                                                    *

With very best wishes, Patricia

 

My Patch is

 Dear Reader,

I used to live in old Charlbury, Market Street, for many years after leaving Oxford for a quieter and more peaceful life.  We bought an old cottage built in the 18th century with all its charm and inconveniences.  The stairs were treacherous, the windows let in the wind, there was damp and there were mice.  Lots of them.  But it was pretty and "quaint" and I was happy there.  Until the council decided that we could no longer leave our car in the field at the bottom of the lane. So we had to move. My stipulation to the estate agents was simple.  We wanted a garage more than anything else.  

The only houses for sale at the time were on a Cotswold stone estate away from the centre of town.  We bought one.  The central heating does a wonderful job of keeping us warm, the rooms are light and airy and we have a small and delightful garden.  And there are no mice.  I wouldn't have imagined myself living somewhere like this years ago, but it is the best move I ever made for so many reasons.  Do read the poem and you will see yourself what they are. Just to let you know the best reason.   It is the neighbours, both kind, helpful and funny. What more could you want?

 

From George Sturt, November 21st, 1890, in Surrey

'I noticed in the poplar above me two sorts of sound; the leaves pattering and rustling against one another, each with its separate chatter; and then as accompaniment and continuous ground-tone, the wind itself breathing audibly and caressingly between leave and round twigs and limbs.' 

 

From Gilbert White, November 26th, 1775, in Hampshire

 'Fog, with frost.  As the fog cleared away, the warm sun occasioned a prodigious reek, or steam to arise from the thatched roofs.'

 

                                                                        *

 My Patch is

houses with small gardens
bricks that are uniform
pale gold in the sun,
grass on the greens,
trees scattered here and there
a ted post box round the corner,
the Co-op a short walk,
dogs on leads, owners friendly
with a good afternoon, or hello
with kindly neighbours,
nothing too much trouble in the way of help
and bouquets of flowers
on my birthday,
lots of peace and quiet except
for the odd dog bark or a child's cry,
lots of space for cars,
and a blackbird singing on the roof tops.

My patch is perfect,
makes my heart sing.

                                                                       *

If you enjoy this blog why not try my memoir:  Half a Pair of People    out on Amazon.  Reviewers have said it is hilarious and also thought provoking.  Put in Patricia Huth, click and you will be there.

                                                                        *

With very best wishes, Patricia